Malicious parent syndrome explained

Family lawsuits like divorce and custody proceedings often cause emotions to run high, due to the personal nature of the proceedings.  This can often result in a parent becoming vindictive towards their ex-partner.  A vindictive parent is one who has a strong and unreasonable desire for revenge.  This leads to what is known as “malicious parent syndrome”.  It is important for legal professionals to know exactly what it is.

We will examine the 17 signs of malicious parent syndrome, and the consequences - both legal and for the children.  We will also look at how legal professionals can better prepare for these types of contentious litigations, allowing them to better assist their clients in finding an amicable resolution to a difficult process.

What is the definition of malicious parent syndrome?

Malicious parent syndrome sometimes referred to as “parental alienation”, is not a mental disorder.  It refers instead to a pattern of harmful behaviours where one parent seeks vengeance on the other parent by making them look bad to their children and others.  This behaviour can often include lying, manipulation, and false accusations of abuse or neglect.  This is intended to make the children dislike the other parent or sway the court’s opinion in favour of the malicious parent.  This behaviour was originally described in 1995 by psychologist Ira Turkat who referred to it as “malicious mother syndrome.”  However, since then it has been recognised to occur across the board regardless of gender.

17 signs of parental alienation

There are common signs of parental alienation that legal professionals should look out for. The children of malicious parents are often brainwashed by the malicious parent and this type of brainwashing is called “parental alienation”.  Some of these signs are displayed in the children of malicious parents so it is important to observe both parents and children.  The signs include:

1. Badmouthing:  A malicious parent will constantly bad mouth the target parent to anyone who will listen as they strive to promote a negative perception of the target parent.
2. False accusations:  A malicious parent will make false accusations towards the target parent.  These can include accusations of abuse or that they don’t love their children.
3. Exaggerate faults:  A malicious parent will exaggerate the faults of the target parent.  This is also done to make the target parent seem terrible.
4. Encourage bad behaviour in children:  Children will be encouraged by malicious parents to misbehave when with the other parent.  This is to spite the target parent and further harm the parent-child relationship.
5. Involve children in conflict:  A parent exhibiting malicious parent syndrome will often involve children in parental conflict and marriage issues.  They do this by sharing the details with the child to control the narrative and turn the child against the target parent.
6. Restrict visitation or contact:  Malicious parents will often attempt to restrict visitation or withhold contact information from the target parent.  This is also a method of alienating the child from the target parent.
7. Defamation in front of authorities:  Defamation of the target parent in front of authorities like police or judges is also common as the malicious parent attempts to portray the target parent as a bad person.
8. Negative remarks about extended family:  A malicious parent will often also make negative remarks about the target parent’s extended family, to the children and others. This is intended to further harm the perception of the target parent.
9. Hiding children:  Malicious parents will often hide the children or move away without telling the target parent.  This is done in an attempt to limit contact between the child and the target parent.
10. Isolate children:  Malicious parents will often isolate children from normal social interactions and the extended family.  This allows them to better control the child’s perceptions of the target parent.
11. Children refuse visitation:  Children of malicious parents often begin to refuse visitation from the target parent as their perception has been controlled by the malicious parent.
12. Children’s allegiance:  Children will reflexively take the side of the malicious parent and reject the target parent without justifiable cause.
13. Despise the parent’s associates:  Children will begin to show a dislike towards anyone who is associated with the target parent.
14. High image of one parent:  Children of malicious parents often hold these parents in high esteem, believing that they can do no wrong.
15. Lack of guilt:  These children will show a lack of guilt or remorse about their bad behaviour towards the target parent.
16. Repeats explanations:  Children will repeat the explanations or stories of their malicious parents to justify their negative feelings towards the target parent.
17. Internalised feelings:  Children of malicious parents internalise the negative feelings of this parent. T hey then insist that these feelings are their own, based on their judgements and not influenced by the malicious parent.

Should your co-parent, ex, or children display these signs it is best to seek legal counsel as a legal professional will be able to assist and advise you on the best course of action to resolve the issue.

Consequences of malicious parent syndrome

There are several consequences for both the parent and child in cases where malicious parent syndrome is present.  These can include legal consequences for the malicious parent such as charges of defamation, perjury, and in some cases child abuse.  Unfortunately, there are also psychological consequences for the children as the effects of malicious parenting take a toll on the parent-child relationship this can permanently damage this relationship resulting in the targeted parent withdrawing from their child’s life to avoid further conflict.

How legal professionals can prepare for these situations

If you are a legal professional specialising in divorce cases it is important that you are aware of malicious parent syndrome, and its signs.  One of the best methods of preventing it is through mediation, which can avoid litigation and preserve a sense of goodwill between divorcing parties. 

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